Sure, guys are supposed to be the tougher sex, but when it comes to breaking up with a chick, we turn into serious wusses. Of course, we know the right thing would be to sit you down and say, "Listen, it's over." But no -- instead,
we use passive-aggressive tactics in the hopes that you'll hate us so much, you'll pull the plug first. We use passive-aggressive tactics in the hopes that you'll hate us so much, you'll pull the plug first. Some clues your guy could be taking the coward's way out...
1. He Doesn't Do What He Says He Will
Yes, it's true: You usually have to ask guys about 10 times before they'll actually help you put in those bathroom shelves -- that's typical. But when he promises to go with you to a friend's party and then bails or doesn't call when he says he will, that's a problem. "When I started losing interest in my ex, I intentionally became really flaky," says Bruce, 24. "I just didn't feel like going out of my way for her anymore."
2. He Keeps Asking You, "Are We Okay?"
Let's be honest here: Single men hate to talk about relationships. So if he starts suggesting weekly powwows, take notice. "I didn't want to just flat out break her heart, so instead, I tried to hint that I wasn't the right guy for her," says Jack, 32. "I'd ask, 'So, what do you want for the future?' Since I knew she wanted a guy who could take care of her financially, I'd say something like 'I don't want to be a VP someday. Money is overrated.' After enough of these talks, she realized I wouldn't be the rich husband she wanted."
3. He Makes You into the Bad Guy
Your guy starts constantly choosing his buddies over you... and yet, he says you're the selfish one. It's called deflecting. "I'd been wanting to break up with my girl, but I couldn't bring myself to do it," explains Tyler, 28. "So instead, I made it seem like she was a rotten girlfriend by telling her she wasn't giving me enough of her time or accusing her of cheating." See how it works? Eventually, you'll be dying to free yourself from his incessant harping (or so he hopes).
4. He Makes Comments About Attractive Women
Look, no guy is stupid enough to go on about how sensual some random chick is in front of his girlfriend... unless, of course, he's trying to be inconsiderate. "Once I knew it was over, I just stopped censoring myself," says David, 27. "If I were watching a music video on TV, I would say that I'd never seen a body so perfect. I knew it upset her, but I just didn't care at that point."
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Dating Relationship And Romance
If you have been dating for a long time then sooner or later you will cross from just dating to something more serious and it will turn into a full fledged relationship, but how do you know when this happens? Are there are special signs that tell you, you have crossed that threshold?
While not everyone will know or be able to follow up on the signs, there are signs that could indicate that what you have is turning from more than just dating to a relationship. One of the biggest signs that you are heading into something more serious than just casual dating is if the other asks you to meet their parents. Being asked to meet the parents is a sure fire sign that the other wants to take what you have to a deeper level and develop the relationship into something stronger.
If the other declares that they wish to give up dating others and wants you to do the same and just date each other exclusively, then this is another good indication that the other is setting their sights on something a lot more meaningful than just casual dating. A good indication and warning signs that this could happen is the casual asking of the other if you are seeing others.
Another sign that things are changing and this is one that many fail to give any thought too is the change to your dating schedule. For example if previously you were going out a lot to romantic dinners, going out on elaborate dates and generally being a lot more romantic than the dates you are going on now, then this could be an indication that the two of you are moving into what has been called “The comfort zone”. The comfort zone means that the two of you are settling down in front of the TV to watch a movie in comfortable clothing while sharing take away, while there is nothing wrong with doing this if its what you both enjoy, if it is a big change from the type of dates you shared in the beginning it could be a clear indication that the relationship is developing into something more comfortable and deeper.
One clear indication that you are moving into the relationship stage instead of just dating is if you have a argument and you don’t think that this is the end of the relationship, but instead know at the back of your mind that you will work things out.
While these are just of the biggest indications that what you have is turning into something deeper and stronger there is nothing that can tell you better than following what’s in your heart. The most important thing is that you are happy with the way things are going and if you are not ready to move into the relationship stage then be sure to make this clear before things go too far.
While not everyone will know or be able to follow up on the signs, there are signs that could indicate that what you have is turning from more than just dating to a relationship. One of the biggest signs that you are heading into something more serious than just casual dating is if the other asks you to meet their parents. Being asked to meet the parents is a sure fire sign that the other wants to take what you have to a deeper level and develop the relationship into something stronger.
If the other declares that they wish to give up dating others and wants you to do the same and just date each other exclusively, then this is another good indication that the other is setting their sights on something a lot more meaningful than just casual dating. A good indication and warning signs that this could happen is the casual asking of the other if you are seeing others.
Another sign that things are changing and this is one that many fail to give any thought too is the change to your dating schedule. For example if previously you were going out a lot to romantic dinners, going out on elaborate dates and generally being a lot more romantic than the dates you are going on now, then this could be an indication that the two of you are moving into what has been called “The comfort zone”. The comfort zone means that the two of you are settling down in front of the TV to watch a movie in comfortable clothing while sharing take away, while there is nothing wrong with doing this if its what you both enjoy, if it is a big change from the type of dates you shared in the beginning it could be a clear indication that the relationship is developing into something more comfortable and deeper.
One clear indication that you are moving into the relationship stage instead of just dating is if you have a argument and you don’t think that this is the end of the relationship, but instead know at the back of your mind that you will work things out.
While these are just of the biggest indications that what you have is turning into something deeper and stronger there is nothing that can tell you better than following what’s in your heart. The most important thing is that you are happy with the way things are going and if you are not ready to move into the relationship stage then be sure to make this clear before things go too far.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
The Claim: Never Blow Your Nose When You Have a Cold
The Facts
Blowing your nose to alleviate stuffiness may be second nature, but some people argue it does no good, reversing the flow of mucus into the sinuses and slowing the drainage.
Counterintuitive, perhaps, but research shows it to be true.
To test the notion, Dr. J. Owen Hendley and other pediatric infectious disease researchers at the University of Virginia conducted CT scans and other measurements as subjects coughed, sneezed and blew their noses. In some cases, the subjects had an opaque dye dripped into their rear nasal cavities.
Coughing and sneezing generated little if any pressure in the nasal cavities. But nose blowing generated enormous pressure — “equivalent to a person’s diastolic blood pressure reading,” Dr. Hendley said — and propelled mucus into the sinuses every time. Dr. Hendley said it was unclear whether this was harmful, but added that during sickness it could shoot viruses or bacteria into the sinuses, and possibly cause further infection.
The proper method is to blow one nostril at a time and to take decongestants, said Dr. Anil Kumar Lalwani, chairman of the department of otolaryngology at the New York University Langone Medical Center. This prevents a buildup of excess pressure.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Blowing your nose can create a buildup of excess pressure in sinus cavities.
**************
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Celebrate Valentine's Day without stuff
You don't have to splurge on fancy gifts to show your partner how much you care. With a little creativity and some advance planning, you can have a romantic Valentine's Day that's all about celebrating your relationship (not simply accumulating more stuff).
Here are some new twists on old standbys (all are light on the planet and most are easy on your wallet). Choose between DIY versions and store-bought in each category.
Massage
> Give your partner a spa-quality rub. Learn how by watching this short video with tips from a National Holistic Institute teacher. Get instructions for Thai, Ayurvedic, and other styles. A bottle of sensual massage oil is a nice added touch.
> Buy a gift certificate at your local spa. Better yet, book a couple's massage and spend the afternoon together.
Chocolate
> Make mouth-watering chocolate truffles. Mark Bittman says it's "incredibly easy" and not time consuming (an all around win-win). Watch "The Minimalist" at work and get his recipe.
> Buy an Edible Chocolate Box. Your sweetie can eat the box after the delicious chocolates inside are gone so nothing goes to waste. You also can't go wrong with any organic or fair-trade certified chocolate.
Flowers
> Team up with your kids and create a floral watercolor or collage for mom or grandma.
> Sign up for a flower share at your local CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) program and your loved one will think of you every time she or he picks up these fresh, local flowers. Or give your honey one fresh flower a week for... a month? or two? You decide. Look for buds that are organic or fair-trade certified.
Poem
> Write a poem. Not your thing? Copy one by hand. Visit Poetry Daily for American poetry or search for classic love poems from the likes of Whitman, Cummings, and more at Poetry Foundation.
> Buy a poetry book and read some poems out loud. (Or, for a no-cost option, borrow from the library.)
Treasure
> Have a V-Day date night at the museum and check out the ancient coins and other priceless treasures.
> Pick out interesting or quirky vintage coins at your local flea market, drill a hole at the top, and string onto silk thread. (You can often find coins with holes already in them.)
Dinner
> Prepare a homemade meal using seasonal, local, and organic ingredients. Don't forget the organic wine and beeswax candles!
> Linger over a romantic meal at your favorite restaurant.
Here are some new twists on old standbys (all are light on the planet and most are easy on your wallet). Choose between DIY versions and store-bought in each category.
Massage
> Give your partner a spa-quality rub. Learn how by watching this short video with tips from a National Holistic Institute teacher. Get instructions for Thai, Ayurvedic, and other styles. A bottle of sensual massage oil is a nice added touch.
> Buy a gift certificate at your local spa. Better yet, book a couple's massage and spend the afternoon together.
Chocolate
> Make mouth-watering chocolate truffles. Mark Bittman says it's "incredibly easy" and not time consuming (an all around win-win). Watch "The Minimalist" at work and get his recipe.
> Buy an Edible Chocolate Box. Your sweetie can eat the box after the delicious chocolates inside are gone so nothing goes to waste. You also can't go wrong with any organic or fair-trade certified chocolate.
Flowers
> Team up with your kids and create a floral watercolor or collage for mom or grandma.
> Sign up for a flower share at your local CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) program and your loved one will think of you every time she or he picks up these fresh, local flowers. Or give your honey one fresh flower a week for... a month? or two? You decide. Look for buds that are organic or fair-trade certified.
Poem
> Write a poem. Not your thing? Copy one by hand. Visit Poetry Daily for American poetry or search for classic love poems from the likes of Whitman, Cummings, and more at Poetry Foundation.
> Buy a poetry book and read some poems out loud. (Or, for a no-cost option, borrow from the library.)
Treasure
> Have a V-Day date night at the museum and check out the ancient coins and other priceless treasures.
> Pick out interesting or quirky vintage coins at your local flea market, drill a hole at the top, and string onto silk thread. (You can often find coins with holes already in them.)
Dinner
> Prepare a homemade meal using seasonal, local, and organic ingredients. Don't forget the organic wine and beeswax candles!
> Linger over a romantic meal at your favorite restaurant.
Eat safe food
There are far too many reports of contaminated foods. Spinach, peanut butter, and baby formula are just a few of the foods that have been recalled over the past couple of years.
The main culprit is the lack of a comprehensive food safety system in the U.S. That said, there are some simple things we can all do when we're preparing food to help ensure that we're eating the safest food possible.
Food expert Marion Nestle (a professor in the Department of Nutrition, Food Studies, and Public Health at New York University, and author of several books including What to Eat and Safe Food) dispenses helpful tips in her informative answers to the following questions:
Are we seeing more cases of food contamination, and if so, why?
I'm not sure we are seeing more contamination; it's just that the incidents affect more people in more places. This is a consequence of our increasingly centralized food production system. A food contaminated in one location gets distributed throughout the country.
What can consumers do to protect themselves from food contamination?
Fortunately, cooking solves a lot of food safety problems.
Following standard food safety rules at home makes good sense for everyone. These are:
- Keep hot foods hot.
- Refrigerate foods.
- Separate raw from cooked foods.
- Keep food preparation surfaces and utensils clean.
- Wash anything that will be eaten raw.
- Cook everything else long enough to kill potentially harmful microbes. (The higher the temperature, the faster bugs get killed.)
The basic principles are simple: Microbes proliferate at warm temperatures, refrigeration slows down proliferation, and cooking kills everything.
What are high-risk foods, and what can consumers do to protect themselves when dealing with these foods?
These days anything uncooked is high risk.
The problems with the contaminated spinach would have been solved easily by blanching the spinach for a minute in boiling water.
Can buying local and/or organic foods offer protection againt foodborne illness?
It is perfectly possible for locally grown food to be contaminated, but if it is, it will affect far fewer people. There is no reason to think that organic produce should have fewer or more contaminants than industrial produce, and studies have shown them to be much the same.
The main culprit is the lack of a comprehensive food safety system in the U.S. That said, there are some simple things we can all do when we're preparing food to help ensure that we're eating the safest food possible.
Food expert Marion Nestle (a professor in the Department of Nutrition, Food Studies, and Public Health at New York University, and author of several books including What to Eat and Safe Food) dispenses helpful tips in her informative answers to the following questions:
Are we seeing more cases of food contamination, and if so, why?
I'm not sure we are seeing more contamination; it's just that the incidents affect more people in more places. This is a consequence of our increasingly centralized food production system. A food contaminated in one location gets distributed throughout the country.
What can consumers do to protect themselves from food contamination?
Fortunately, cooking solves a lot of food safety problems.
Following standard food safety rules at home makes good sense for everyone. These are:
- Keep hot foods hot.
- Refrigerate foods.
- Separate raw from cooked foods.
- Keep food preparation surfaces and utensils clean.
- Wash anything that will be eaten raw.
- Cook everything else long enough to kill potentially harmful microbes. (The higher the temperature, the faster bugs get killed.)
The basic principles are simple: Microbes proliferate at warm temperatures, refrigeration slows down proliferation, and cooking kills everything.
What are high-risk foods, and what can consumers do to protect themselves when dealing with these foods?
These days anything uncooked is high risk.
The problems with the contaminated spinach would have been solved easily by blanching the spinach for a minute in boiling water.
Can buying local and/or organic foods offer protection againt foodborne illness?
It is perfectly possible for locally grown food to be contaminated, but if it is, it will affect far fewer people. There is no reason to think that organic produce should have fewer or more contaminants than industrial produce, and studies have shown them to be much the same.
Five recycling mysteries solved!
Wondering what to do with your stash of old batteries or the cans of unneeded paint taking up space in your garage? You know you shouldn't throw them out, but it really is time to get rid of them.
Resist the temptation to toss them in the trash anyway. The reason: They (and everything on the list below) contain toxic chemicals capable of contaminating the environment if not disposed of properly.
Unlike items that are picked up at the curb, you'll have to make a special effort to unload these ones responsibly. But, with a little advance planning and some good info, you'll see that it's really quite simple to dispose of these seemingly mysterious items. Here's how:
Batteries. Recycling rechargeable batteries is fairly easy. Home Depot, Staples, Radio Shack, Best Buy, and other retailers take them back free of charge. There are fewer options for single-use batteries, but look for bins at your local Whole Foods Market, Ikea, or library. Otherwise, your best bet is the local household hazardous waste drop-off site. Where is it and what are your closest drop-off options? Search here for answers.
CFLs. These energy-efficient bulbs are becoming easier to get rid of. Just drop old bulbs off at any Home Depot or Ikea for free recycling. Or ask about CFL recycling at your local Ace Hardware or home improvement store. You can search for other nearby solutions.
Electronics. Every retailer that takes back rechargeable batteries also accepts mobile phones, as do most wireless providers. For computers, cameras, televisions, and others it's worthwhile do a little homework because some stores charge fees depending on item and brand. Check out Best Buy, Staples, and Office Depot to see what's the best fit. Some places, like Radio Shack, have trade-in programs where you can receive store credit for your old gadgets.
Motor Oil. In case you need some motivation, consider this factoid from Earth911: Every gallon of used motor oil that's improperly disposed of can contaminate one million gallons of drinking water. Bring it to Wal-Mart, Autozone, Jiffy Lube, or search online for more convenient choices.
Paint. It's among the harder items in this group to dispose of, but it's worth it and totally doable. If the paint is still in good shape, consider donating it. As of now, there aren't any retailers that accept used paint so you'll need to make a special trip. Search Earth911 for a comprehensive list of options.
Resist the temptation to toss them in the trash anyway. The reason: They (and everything on the list below) contain toxic chemicals capable of contaminating the environment if not disposed of properly.
Unlike items that are picked up at the curb, you'll have to make a special effort to unload these ones responsibly. But, with a little advance planning and some good info, you'll see that it's really quite simple to dispose of these seemingly mysterious items. Here's how:
Batteries. Recycling rechargeable batteries is fairly easy. Home Depot, Staples, Radio Shack, Best Buy, and other retailers take them back free of charge. There are fewer options for single-use batteries, but look for bins at your local Whole Foods Market, Ikea, or library. Otherwise, your best bet is the local household hazardous waste drop-off site. Where is it and what are your closest drop-off options? Search here for answers.
CFLs. These energy-efficient bulbs are becoming easier to get rid of. Just drop old bulbs off at any Home Depot or Ikea for free recycling. Or ask about CFL recycling at your local Ace Hardware or home improvement store. You can search for other nearby solutions.
Electronics. Every retailer that takes back rechargeable batteries also accepts mobile phones, as do most wireless providers. For computers, cameras, televisions, and others it's worthwhile do a little homework because some stores charge fees depending on item and brand. Check out Best Buy, Staples, and Office Depot to see what's the best fit. Some places, like Radio Shack, have trade-in programs where you can receive store credit for your old gadgets.
Motor Oil. In case you need some motivation, consider this factoid from Earth911: Every gallon of used motor oil that's improperly disposed of can contaminate one million gallons of drinking water. Bring it to Wal-Mart, Autozone, Jiffy Lube, or search online for more convenient choices.
Paint. It's among the harder items in this group to dispose of, but it's worth it and totally doable. If the paint is still in good shape, consider donating it. As of now, there aren't any retailers that accept used paint so you'll need to make a special trip. Search Earth911 for a comprehensive list of options.
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